The Commandments of Living A Life You Love
The Commandments of Living a Life You Love
Living a life that you love doesn’t happen by accident or because of luck.
And while for me living a life I love includes going for runs, practicing yoga and eating a paleo type diet that also isn’t want it means to live a life you love.
When you’re creating a life you love there are a few non-negotiable that have nothing to do with what you eat, wear or where you live. But it does have everything to do with how you think, act and what you believe.
I’ve outlined a few things that have made the biggest different in my life. Some of them came naturally (like honesty and not giving a fuck) but some of them took work (hence #7).
The Commandments of Living A Life You Love
Believe in yourself
YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
This is at the top of the list for a reason. If you don’t start believing in yourself like, yesterday, then nothing else is going to work.
You need to know that you deserve to live a life you love.
And you can make it happen.
You don’t need anyone else to bring excitement and joy to your life. No knight on a white horse is going to come save you.
It’s all you girl.
You are a queen and you have the power to create a life you love.
Give zero fucks
You can’t care what other people think. That only leads to you weighing yourself down with peoples opinions about how life should look. Usually those opinions are packed with their own shit and they’re just unloading it on you.
Do you want to wear a mini skirt after the age of 30? Rock the shit, girl!
How about not wanting kids? There are less than zero fucks to give about what your mom thinks on this topic.
Want to date someone for 10 years and not get married? Shut your mouth Aunty Gladys, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to do.
Give a shit about the right stuff
With that being said, you still need to give a shit about the right stuff. This stuff includes your health, finances, being a polite and good human being and caring for others.
If you want to live a life you love you can’t care what other people think about how you run your shit but you still have to be a good person.
You still have to hold the door open for strangers, be polite to your server, say please and thank you, eat well and take care of your body.
If you think ‘giving zero fucks’ means that you can be rude to your family, take advantage of your friends or spend all your money on stuff you don’t need then you’re going to need a different approach to living a life you love. You probably should go talk to a therapist ’cause there’s some real insecurities hiding under you acting like an ass.
#sorrynotsorry There’s no time for b.s. here.
Put yourself first
You have to be your #1 priority.
You know on an airplane when they talk about putting your oxygen mask on first, before you help someone else. Even before a kid or disabled person. It’s because if you’re unconscious from a lack of oxygen then that person who is relying on you is going to be S.O.L.
I love that as an analogy for life.
If you’re not taking care of yourself and making yourself your #1 bitch then you’re not going to be able to do the work you’re here to do.
If I let all my commitments: work, teaching, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc, take over my life and never put anything back into my tank then I’d be a useless sack of shit.
I know because I’ve done it before.
I used to put all my energy out during the week and when the weekend rolled around I was useless. I also took naps everyday after work.
I was not loving my life.
Now I make sure to put myself first everyday and on weekends I give myself some extra special attention. And guess what? Everything still gets done! The world has not imploded because I shut my computer off at 5 pm or went social media free on the weekend.
Be your own bottom bitch and put your own shit first. And if someone has a problem with that refer to commandment #2.
Control your shit
I’m going to shatter everything you thought you knew. Are you ready?
You have control over what your life is like.
Did your head explode? Wipe up your grey matter and let’s get back to business.
There’s an important note to make here: while you don’t have control over the exact things that happen in your life you have control over how they affect you.
No, you can’t control that your plane in 45 minutes late but you can control if you get mad and yell at the flight attendant or sit and use this as an opportunity to call your mom and catch up.
You can’t control that traffic is backed up and you’ll be late for work but you can control if you get dragged down into frustration and anger or use this for much needed alone time and listen to an inspiring podcast.
If your boyfriend is an asshole you can’t control how he treats you but you can control whether or not you stay in the relationship.
You can’t control your best friend always tearing you down with rude comments but you can control how much time you spend with her and how you react to her rudeness.
You have control over how you react, how you treat people, what you do and what you let people do to you.
All of this adds up to living a life you love by not letting other peoples shit get to you.
Take ownership of your actions
Maybe it’s the Sagittarius in me but honesty is extremely important in my life. That goes for other people but especially for myself.
I’m not specifically talking about owning up to bad decisions you’ve made. Of course that’s important and you should always apologize.
Taking ownership of your actions, when it comes to living a life you love, means realizing that you chose to let certain things happen to you in the past or you chose to live your life a certain way.
If you sit on the couch and eat a bag of chips every night, that’s all on you babe. You have to take ownership of that decision and not blame it on your boyfriend, your bad day or your up bringing.
‘But I buy chips because my boyfriend likes them.’ That’s bullshit and you know it. You have control over whether or not you eat them and you have to own that.
If you decide to eat the chips today because ‘fuck you Ally, Imma do what I want’ then that’s great. Own it!
But you also have to own the consequences for your actions.
You have to own the weight gain, the health issues, the loneliness and the unhappiness.
Do the work
So by now you know that you have to believe in yourself, you control how you feel and you gotta own your actions. Pretty much all that’s left is actually doing the work.
You gotta get your ass in gear and do all the things that you say you’re going to do.
I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but here’s the truth: nothing is going to work unless you do.
You can read all the blog posts, buy all the books, talk all the shit that you want but nothing will change until you actually put your words into action.
Celebrate every day
Not everything is about tough love! You can’t forget to celebrate!
When you are living a life you love everyday is exciting. It’s so rare for people to actually love their life so when you’re really doing it it’s worth fucking celebrating!
Buy yourself the sexy outfit and wear it.
Pop the bottle of champaign that you’ve been holding onto.
Wear the jewellery that you’re saving for a special occasion.
Life is a special occasion. Treat it like so.