5 Things to Do When Your People Don’t Support Your Goals
It’s a really sucky feeling when your people don’t support your goals. It doesn’t matter if you’re working towards weight loss, a healthier diet, waking up earlier or saving money. There always seems to be people who want to keep you stuck.
Why is that?
The real reason people don’t support your goals
Truth bomb: it has nothing to do with you
Your friends and family don’t support your goals because they’re caught up in their own shit.
Everyone has thoughts and perceptions about how the world is and most of us will do everything we can to prove ourselves right. Your best friend complains that all men are assholes but only dates assholes who cheated on their ex. Your mom says that she wishes she could lose weight but eats take out three times a week.
A lot of times these perceptions are ingrained into us when we’re young. If your mom picks on your for gaining weight it might be because her father always told her to watch her weight and now that she’s gaining weight she’s insecure about it.
Your friend that makes fun of you for going to Zumba is coming from her own insecurity about looking silly in front of people, something her cousin made fun of her for when she was little.
If your boyfriend always keeps junk food in the house, even though you asked him not to, he could be reacting to his mom’s strict guidelines about food when he was a kid.
These people can’t support your goals because, just by living your life, you’re making their failures glaringly obvious to them. You’re not doing this on purpose. Hell, you probably don’t even know you’re doing it and they sure as heck don’t realize that’s what’s going on.
You can’t let this stop you. It is not your responsibility to comfort your people when they’re not willing to do the work for themselves. Your only responsibility is to make sure that you love the life you’re living.
Haters gonna hate and you can’t let them pull you down with them.
5 Things To Do When Your People Don’t Support Your Goals
Invite your friends and family into your life changing activities. If you get them involved they might jump onboard.
- Make a healthy dinner for everyone
- Ask them to go for a walk instead of watching a movie
- Take them to yoga (and pay for their class)
Share your new knowledge
You’re probably learning everything you can about your new goal. Share all this info with your people!
Another reason they might not support you: they just don’t know what the consequences of their actions are
It might seem obvious to you but not everyone realizes that their habits can have negative results on their life. What was it that go you excited to go after your goal? Share that with them and show them how excited you are.
As you start seeing results, more energy, weight loss, whatever it is, share that with them too. Seeing you feeling great might give them the kick in the ass they need to join you.
Talk to them
Sit your people down and have a heart to heart. Honestly tell them how their lack of support hurts you.
I know it can be hard to do this but it can make a big difference in how your people support your goals.
If you’re concerned about their downhill slide into health issues you can also tell your people that you’re worried about them and you hope that your life change will inspire them to get healthier.
Be prepared: they may be so deep in their shit that they don’t see how they’re hurting you. If this is the case refer to the last point.
Get them on board
After you’ve done 1-3 get them on board with you. Make it something fun that you work on together.
This way you’re getting your people to support your goals, you gain a workout buddy and you also grow your support system. You can become each others accountability partners.
If you’ve tried everything and they’re still not on board remember two things:
- You are the main priority in your life. You need to do what makes you happy and healthy.
- Your people can’t support your goals because they’re caught up in their own shit. You can try to help them until you’re blue in the face but it’s ultimately up to them to change.
All this adds up to -fuck ’em.
If your friend thinks your dance workout is silly or your boyfriend says your new diet is disgusting, that’s their problem, not yours. Yes, it will affect you but you can choose to not to let it derail you.
When you’re creating a life that you love there are a few things you need to do to keep yourself happy. Putting yourself first and not caring what other people think will make a huge difference.
There’s a few things to remember when you’re creating a life you love. Download the poster at the end so you always remember them!
Let’s get real for a minute, it can really hurt when your parents, friends or partner don’t support your goals. You’re working to make your life better. A life filled with happiness, health and whatever else it is you want.
Their bad attitudes can be a real buzz kill.
These tips are great ideas for you to get your people on board with your goals, and I say ‘fuck em’ with a bit of a tongue in cheek attitude because you’re not going to drop your people at the first sign of them not supporting your goals.
One thing you learn in Get Your Ass In Gear is how to dig through your own shit. Maybe you can take those skills and help your loved ones learn them too. Because you do love them. You can’t just dump them.
As you work towards creating a life that you love you’ll naturally distance yourself from that negativity. Maybe you’ll be like me and dump the loser that’s holding you back. Or learn to distance yourself emotionally from people who aren’t willing to help themselves.
As a Holistic Health Coach I have a rule for myself that I only work with people who are willing and ready to change. It takes a ton of mental energy to try to convince someone of something their not ready to hear. This boundary might help you with how much you engage with the people who can’t support your goals.
If you’re interested more in setting your own boundaries go to ‘contact’ and send me an email. We’ll set up a time for a free coaching call and start you on your path to creating a life you love!